hello all,
For those who don't know, I am what some people might consider "cheap". I would rather use the term "thrifty" or "frugal", but "thrifty" doesn't get your family making the squeaky sound effect when you open your own wallet or the claims that the George Washington printed on my money is actually wearing sunglasses, (because he's not used to the sunlight..doesn’t get out much). It also doesn't help that my family are all Borscht belt comedians.
Now it is true that I like to look for a good bargain, it just makes good sense to me. This has usually served me well in the past...but sometimes it can backfire. I discovered this the other day while in the bathroom, taking care of some necessary business, (much like the cute bears in the Charmin toilet paper spot answering the eternal question, "Do bears (expletive deleted) in the woods) Segue here. I reached over to tear off the necessary amount of T.P, only to have it tear away in shreds. I tried again only to have the same thing happen. Maybe I didn't use enough force, this time I'll really give it a tug. As I watched the roll fly through the air, unraveling along the way, I knew something was amiss. It was only as I rolled the paper back on the roll that I realized that my bargain toilet paper wasn't perforated. It was just one long spool of solid paper. Imagine the roll of paper on top of an adding machine. Now imagine trying to use said paper to wipe your bear bottom with (Charmin callback) and you understand my struggle. What started with me just trying to help my bottom line end with me just hurting my bottom*.
s
*I realize that I'm a grown man saying "bottom". These are difficult times.
