Tuesday, February 27, 2007

taking a shot...

Hello all,

In the "good things come to those who wait" department, I received news today that MySpace sensation, Tila Tequilla is finally rewarding her fans with her much anticipated music. ITunes is releasing the first single, (OK, only single) "I Love U". here is a special teaser released from ITunes of the video that you will get free when you download the song. Note: lyrics get a little spicy so..NSFW.



Oh my...quite the potty mouth. Hard to believe that song was originally written by Norah Jones. Apparently the "famous for being famous" Tila now has over 1.5 million "friends" on MySpace, so of course you give her a recording contract. She's just a few more MySpace friends away from being a film, television and publishing star.

thanks for the "add".

s

Sunday, February 25, 2007

And the winner is..

Hello all..

I typically don't do this but because of my extensive research and overall knowledge of the business I am going to give my 79th annual Academy Award picks.

1) Best picture - "The Departed" - I know this is a long shot and I'm going out on a limb with this one...the Academy tells "Little Miss Sunshine" to "F@*k off", (all right maybe not that strong..but they get the message).
2) Best Director - Martin Scorsese - sentimental favorite, the voters make up for past crimes.
3) Original Screenplay - "Little Miss Sunshine" - safe pick over much stronger material.
4) Adapted Screenplay - "The Departed" - Academy will pick a script from a film no-one is talking about and or remembers.
5) Best Song - "I need to wake up" by Melissa Etheridge - I think this will shock some, especially those people who worked on the musical "Dreamgirls" and had about 15 songs nominated in this category..and they lose out to a song none of us remember. This will be followed by an irritating standing ovation matched only by the one given to the Hollywood power Brokers behind "An Inconvenient Truth". Al Gore will be thanked for existing and showing us that with enough famous people behind you, you can make a film that agrees with all the reports that came before it.
6) Best Actress - Helen Mirren for "The Queen" - I predict she will end her speech with an uncomfortable moment, probably asking the audience members to salute the Queen of England.
7) Best Actor - Forrest Whitaker - "Last King Of Scotland" this will round out the evening of proving the theory that if you play an actual person, you will get an Oscar. The formula has changed over the years. It used to be that if you played a mentally or physically handicapped person, you got an Oscar. Then it changed into playing a mentally or physically handicapped person who actually existed. Then they dropped the "mentally or physically handicapped" part and kept the "play an actual person, get an Oscar". This will eventually morph into "Play an actual person named Oscar and get an Oscar".

there you have it, my Oscar picks. Risky? Damn right they are.

s

Friday, February 23, 2007

saved by Zero...

In my book, one of the funniest comedies ever is the 1968 film, "The Producers" starring Zero Mostel and Gene Wilder and written and directed by Mel Brooks. In my opinion, as close to comedy perfection as one can get. So you can imagine my sadness when Mel Brooks decided to take the movie to Broadway and replace Mostel and Wilder with Nathan Lane and Matthew Broderick. OK fine...nothing against those two gents.. but they're no Mostel and Wilder. Then, Brooks decides to do a film version of the play that was originally a film...not so good. THEN as Nathan and Matthew leave the show, Brooks replaces Nathan's character with Tony Danza. Yes, that Tony Danza.

But now Mel Brooks, in a move I can only attribute to early stages of dementia, has opened the show in Las Vegas and has added as a cast member non other than David Hasselhoff.










So the show, "The Producers" has now become the kind of bloated, self-centered, over-produced Broadway show that the original movie of the same name tried to satirize. In telling the tale about two guys intentionally making a bad Broadway show, by filling it with tacky musical numbers and bad actors, Brooks has actually made a bad Broadway show by filling it with tacky musical numbers and bad actors. Talk about irony biting you in the ass.

s

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Send in the clown's...killer.

Hello all,

Now I will be the first to admit, I've never cared for clowns. Even as a kid I would always look down at their "anything for a laugh" style of comedy with as much lil' Shane disdain as I could muster. I liked my comedy to have a certain amount of sophistication and class..like "The Beverly Hillbilly's" for example...(oh Ellie May, will you ever leave my dreams?). Well it appears that that as much as Colombians like cocaine, they hate clowns even more..(go with me on this). During a show in front of a small crowd of 20 people (mostly children), someone jumped out of the audience and shoots one of the clowns in the head. Then another clown was shot outside as he stood by the ticket booth. Last year, a well known circus clown, Pepe, was also shot down in Columbia.

Authorities close to the case are claiming that the Colombian Clown Cartel is sending a message to other clowns across the country. Other reports involve several incidents of drive by "seltzerings" in which witnesses describe 12 heavily painted men driving away in a very tiny, yet somewhat comical, vehicle. Bobo, who has been an outspoken critic of the Clown Cartel, has had several attempts on his life and claims to have woken up one morning to find the head of his rubber chicken in bed with him. "I know what is at stake", said Bobo. his serious tone belying the painted on smile on his face, "But I'm not just doing this for me. I'm doing this for all my fallen soldiers...Freckles, Droopy, JoJo, Poodles, Ocho, Twinkles, Patches and Professor Baggy Britches."

hang in there Bobo.

s