Wednesday, September 26, 2007

For the record...

Hello all,

As you know, our relationship cannot continue to flourish without complete honesty and open communication. Now with this environment of openness in mind, something has come to be my attention that I feel I must clarify. A good friend of mine informed me that one day they typed my name in the Google search window, and were surprised to find that along with my many listings, (glowing reviews, award winning projects etc) they discovered something less than flattering.

All right, in the spirit of honesty, I must confess something before we go on. There really weren’t that many glowing reviews or award winning projects listed in Google. In fact there weren’t any.

And while I’m at it..it really wasn’t a friend that typed my name in Google. I don’t really have what you would call friends. I in fact typed it on my own computer.

OK, I don’t technically own a computer. Some guy at Starbucks said I could borrow his for a moment.

OK, he left it on while he went to the restroom.

But it was Google.

Anyway, the thing that I really want to talk about is one of the listings I discovered for “Shane Estep”.

http://www.mshp.dps.mo.gov/CJ38/Alias?id=1204158

It seems that a Shane “Patrick” Estep is listed in Missouri as a registered sex offender. Now you can understand my concern that someone of this ilk would somehow, even for a moment, be confused with me. So I want to set the record straight, I know nothing of this horrible situation, I don’t know this person and I’ve never even been to Missouri.

OK, I went to Missouri once..in Jasper county..on that date, but that is it. That is where the similarities end. Did I meet a woman there? Yes, a lovely woman who was over eighteen thank you very much!

All right, technically she may have been 17 but you would not have known by looking at her, I swear. That being said, all we did was talk. Then I tipped my hat to her and said “goodnight”.

OK, maybe there was a monetary offer of some sort; I can’t remember all of the details. But look, clearly the picture isn’t of me, so the issue is closed.

Now, could I, (had I been inclined) have offered another inmate in the holding tank a twelve pack of Coors Light if he would switch identities with me, he becoming Shane Estep and I would become Dwayne “Skeeter” Barksdale. I suppose, but it didn’t happen.

OK it did happen.

Wow, I must say, this whole “honesty” thing is really refreshing. I hope you have all learned something here today, I know I have.

OK, I haven’t.

s

A little something for the ladies...

Hello ladies,

Well it seems the gals at "the View" are at it again. Now many of you guys know my morning just isn't complete without my daily dose of sass, so I always turn to the View. Well you can imagine my surprise when my gals of gab decided to take on the hilarious subject of evolution vs creationism and what discussion isn't complete without the heart to heart talk about whether or not.....the earth is flat.



wow. She didn't know if the earth was flat or not because she was trying to take care of her children. Talk about not being able to multi-task. I can't wait for the "Is it rain or angels crying" debate.

Congratulations "The View", looks like you have a real winner on your hands.

s

Friday, September 21, 2007

Dixie


Dixie entered my life in 2001. The story goes that a friend of the family had a dog they could no longer take care of and would we consider adopting her. At the time, another dog was the last thing my wife and I needed, but she was brought over to “see if we all would get along”. I came home that day to see something sitting in the backyard, looking at me through the glass door. I stood and stared at what can only be described as a black bean bag chair with legs. Apparently, the previous owner wasn’t in the habit of walking this dog and or feeding her sensible portions. This was the fattest dog I had ever seen. I opened the door and slowly approached her, just to see how she would react. And how did this over stuffed black hefty bag react to her potential new owner? She sat there, looked me in the eye and growled. I knew I was in no real danger since an actual lunge from her would be a half day event, but I did like the attitude. I walked back in the house, dialed my wife at work. “Well?” she asked. “All right” I said, “We can keep her”.

My first task with Dixie was to trim the weight. I remember the first time I put a leash on her and set off down the street on the first of our many walks. People in the neighborhood would actually stop what they were doing and watch as this guy appeared to be walking a Black Angus cow to market. The first hill we encountered, Dixie walked about half way up, stopped and sat down in the middle of the street, refusing to go any further. Day after day we tried until finally she could reach the top of the hill and so we tried another hill and then another until gradually the pounds went away as the walks became longer and longer. Over the next few years, it didn’t matter if I was inside the house or doing something outside, Dixie was always there with me.

Of course, this all changed when I moved out, but I tried to stop by as much as I could. As I walked up the sidewalk, I could see her nose pressed against the window, and then the tail would begin to wag as she recognized the person approaching the front door. Gradually, she began to slow as the hips began to wear down, no doubt damaged from early obesity. The younger dogs would go on the longer walks while Dixie was content with the shorter, slower, “stop and sniff’ type of strolls. Then one day, after a routine checkup at the vet’s office, Dixie was diagnosed with an aggressive form of bone cancer.

On September 19th at approximately 11:30 a.m., Dixie lost her battle with cancer. That morning I went out to the back yard with her for a few minutes. I sat down on the cool morning grass and she lay beside me and we just enjoyed this final time together. Then, we put Dixie in the back seat and the three of us took that long ride to the vet’s office.

I’ve always said that dogs will give you all the love in their heart, only to break yours when they go and Dixie was no exception. We were given a dog I didn’t want with a name I didn’t like and I couldn’t possibly imagine my life without her.

Good dog…..

s

Wednesday, September 5, 2007

TV Review

hello all,

I know I'm a little late to this party. Saw "John from Cincinnati" tonight. Could someone please tell me what I was watching? That may be the longest hour on television. I think I could have driven to Cincinnati. I'm a huge Milch fan (creator..NYPD blue, Deadwood etc) but this is unwatchable. I can see why it was canceled.

s

Skinny jeans

hello all,

A new study has found what scientists are calling a "Skinny Gene" in people. They originally discovered this gene 50 years ago in fruit flies. Apparently, they realized that not all the fruit flies were the same. In fact they noticed that some were much slimmer than the others which led to more popularity and an over all attractiveness while the more larger flies were prone to provide a more "best friend" type of role.

skinny genes = skinny jeans

s

Tuesday, September 4, 2007

been a while..

Hello all,

Yes, I know it has been a while since my last post..and I do apologize. What have I been doing? Well I'll tell you. I am just finishing up a pilot project with my writing and performing partner. hopefully we will post it soon for all to enjoy.

Will keep you all posted.

s